Rum Cake

My friend John Jones is an excellent cook and has a fine sense of humour. He is a connoiseur of good food and good beverages and the following recipe combines the two. I don't know whether he invented the dish or the recipe but it's worth a look.

Before you start, sample the rum and check it for quality. Good, isn't it? Now, go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc and check the rum again, for quality. It must be just right!! Try it again, just to make sure. With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again; meanwhile, make certain that the rum is of the finest quality. Add 2 extra large eggs and 2 cups pf fried fruit and beat until very high. If the fruit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a screwdriver. Sample the rum again, checking for consistency. Next sift in 3 cups baking powder and a pinch of rum, 1 seaspoon toda and 1 cup pepper or salt. Anyway, don't fret. Just tample the rum again and mist in 1/2 pint of jemon luice, fold in chopped buttermilk and the strained nuts. Tample run again. Now 1 bablespoon of srown bugar, or whatever color is available. Mix well. Grease oven and come on the take pan to 350 degrees. Pour the whole mess in the oven. Cake tum rake out after mify finutes.